I continue to learn about what exactly my “purpose”, “mission”, or “goal” is in this lifetime. The more I learn, the more it is clear to me that this all mighty purpose of my “self” is more and more fundamental and simple than I can ever expect or plan for it to be. This question is enigmatic and has crossed my mind throughout my adolescence, and young adult years, as I was conditioned to focus on making decisions that would bring me the biggest return on investment and provide the best “karmic” debt payment. As I work on exploring the complexities of this universe, the precepts, enemies of growth, types of doubt, axioms of universal truths, ways to become liberated and ideologies on how to live, I realize that in every moment in time, really, none of that matters. (Kind of like when I realized getting the “A” in college and all those years in school really didn’t matter. It was, instead, the joy I would receive from learning, growing, expanding and creating as a person that would yield the biggest reward and lessons in a scholar’s life.)
It is a guttural feeling that, just like an old-fashion camera takes a snap shot of a specific moment, the gift or presence is truly what we (and I) should aim to submerge in. The constant feeling of bliss in every present moment; that is my current highest aim. Presence without the feeling of lack, but abundance. Presence without craving, attachments, agitation, and avoidance, but of equanimity and Upekkha (max potential and shape of the mind and body). It sounds so delicious, I can taste it. The best part of this specific aim, is that we can all have it. . . And it is free. It is like closing our eyes, tuning into our easy, rhythmic breath, and simply being. Just like heaven.
On a more specific note, I genuinely do wish for this world we live in to cultivate more love, kindness, mindful awareness, respect, equality, sensitivity, contentedness, understanding, compassion and happiness. I hope and mindfully place intention toward increasing all these wonderful attributes by the actions I take daily, by the verbiage I use, by the children I raise, by the relationship I cultivate with my family and friends, my mentors and my peers, and by the energy I release and exchange, so that the mystery of the cohabitants of this shared world continue to brew wild and free, innovative yet peaceful partnerships. How great would it be if our world could continue evolving into more spiritual and loving protectors or our neighborhoods and of our bio-systems?
Certainly, my greatest aim in this moment is to achieve authentic spiritual union with source, to feel whole, truth, liberation surrounding my every day and to be able to drink all of life’s beauty with my eyes and become my own sunshine and rays for all life around me. I think the essence of all that could be experienced through true presence and the quieting of the frenetic monkey mind that is trained to chatter out loud incessantly. From doubt to hopefulness. From optimism to enthusiasm. From passion to being empowered, from freedom to universal love. My greatest aim is exactly where I am now. It is my presence.
By Nancy Lin DeGregori